I wanted to write a quick post about breastfeeding.
I haven’t blogged about breastfeeding in awhile. A couple of months ago, that was all I blogged about.
That’s because a couple months ago, that was all I thought about. It consumed my life. It wasn’t just the fact that, as a newborn, Norah needed to be fed constantly. It was the fact that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t feed her. My body wouldn’t let me. Breastfeeding was NOT working for us.
Fast forward to today, when I had said this exact thing to my hubby:
“I don’t know how we’re ever going to get her to take a bottle or eat solids. I feel like there needs to be consistency. I need to just pick a meal every day and stick with it. But, it’s so much work. Breastfeeding is just so much easier.”
Honestly, if you would have told me I would be saying something like that back in March, I would have laughed in your face. Then I would have cried. Just because, back then, pretty much everything made me cry.
You see, I was exhausted. Not only was I a brand new, fist time mom but I was fighting with my own mind and body to be able to give my baby girl the one thing I wanted to give her more than anything else.
It was an uphill battle:
– I wasn’t making enough milk
– Norah wasn’t latching properly
– I was in SO much pain when trying to feed her (I had bleeding, cracking, and toe-curling pain)
It was miserable. I won’t go into all the details here. But, if you’re curious about what my life looked like back then, check out these posts:
– They warned me it would be hard…
– A Day in my Norah-Loving Life
– Healthy Weight Gain? Check!
– Finally Breastfeeding!
– Read This Before You Give Up On Breastfeeding For Good!
It took about three weeks. Three weeks of non-stop work. Three weeks of obsessing over breastfeeding. Three weeks of pumping and finger tubes and pain, both physical and emotional.
But, we made it. Somehow, we made it to the other side. Looking back on it now, it’s honestly all just a big tear-filled blur. I actually did try to remember what it was like.
Last night, when Norah decided to wake up in the middle of the night, I snuggled her close, nursed her, and soaked up the moment. What struck me the most was how big she’s gotten. She barely fits on my lap! Could this be the same baby? The very same baby that just four months ago was losing weight?
It was a humbling moment for me. She has grown so much. And I am the one who gave her what she needed to do so. Physically and developmentally, all that growth and progress is because of the nutrients that I have been able to give her.
I get that breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. And, I truly believe “fed is best.” If you can’t, or even if you simply don’t want to breastfeed, that’s fine! As long as your baby is happy and growing, you do what works for you and your family! Breastfeeding doesn’t equal being a good mom. Being a good mom is doing what you need to to ensure that your family is taken care of.
But, if you’re struggling with breastfeeding and wanting to push on just a little longer, know that you’re not alone. So many of us have struggled. So many of us have cried. So many of us have been angry, lonely, and frustrated.
And, so many of us have made it through to the other side.
I am so glad I stuck with breastfeeding. Holding my baby close and knowing that I am the one she needs for sustenance and I am the one who can comfort her like no one else is a truly amazing thing.