This blog serves a couple different purposes:
- A place for me to share tips or advice I’ve learned as a first time mom
- A place for me to share my general experiences with life as a first time mom
- A place for me to record different moments and memories with my baby girl.
This post is going to be one of those “memory” type posts. Just something to remember the different moments and milestones in Norah’s life, how I feel, how she’s doing, yadda yadda yadda.
So, dear reader, if you care to join me in this post, I’m going to talk about something that was probably a bigger deal for me than it was for Norah.
Today was the first day that a person with no family relation watched Norah. She’s four and a half months old, and we’ve never left her with anyone who wasn’t immediately related to us. To be honest, we’ve barely left her with family. We’ve just never needed to!
You would think it would be a nerve-wracking thing for me, but it wasn’t. It might be because the babysitter came to our house. Norah was going to be in her element, and the person we chose is someone we trust.
Norah did great. And I think it’s such a good thing to have her interact with new people. They’re going to be bffs soon, I’m sure. I feel good about it. I really do.
Even still, it was weird. Leaving my baby in someone else’s care isn’t something that I can say I enjoyed. But, at the same time, I’m glad that we’re doing this. It’s not going to get easier as she gets older. And she will have to be out of my care at some point in her life. I don’t plan on going to school with her or sleeping in the sleeping bag right next to her during her first sleep over. I’m not going to room with her at college or hold her hand during her first day of work.
She’s going to have a life without me. And I have to accept that.
I know, it’s early. There’s still so much time before all that has to happen. But, you don’t understand. I need to start preparing myself for that now. Honestly, Norah is my everything right now. As she should be. That’s what being a mom is all about. But, as she grows, she’s going to need me less and less.
I made this observation not that long ago, and I got laughed at for it. But, I still believe it’s 100% true:
Everyday, Norah needs me less and less. And it’s going to keep happening, little by little, until she doesn’t need me at all.
She doesn’t need me to hold her head up for her anymore. She doesn’t need me to roll her onto her tummy. She’s this close to putting her pacifier in by herself.
All little things, yes. But, all things that I used to have to do for her that I don’t have to anymore. Maybe you think I’m being dramatic (and you’re probably right). But, I think it’s good that I have these thoughts now. Because whether or not I want her to, she’s going to grow. She’s going to become more independent. And, as a good mom, I have to not only accept that, but encourage it!
So, perhaps it’s just something small, but leaving Norah with the babysitter today was a big deal to me. If anything, it’s teaching me to accept that I can’t be in constant control of her life. I’m sure her teenage years will remind me of that time and time again. Thank goodness I’m getting practice now, I suppose!