It’s been about a year since the events that led to my baby girl coming into this world took place. It’s funny to think about that. Things were so different for me in May of 2018.
I hated my job, for one. It’s a long, complicated story that doesn’t really need to be drudged up. Let’s just say, I dreaded going to work every day. I dreaded it so much, I started looking for another job. And, I found one! At least, I found one I thought would be perfect.
It was as a high school Spanish teacher. Not just any teacher, though. It was working with very high level, high achieving students. I would be teaching things like literature and culture and all the things I love! So, I applied. And then, I interviewed. And, I rocked the interview, if I do say so myself.
Even the principal said I did great in the interview… as he explained that they had chosen a different candidate. “You were our second choice, though.”
Thanks. That does me no good. But, thanks.
My brother-in-law came to visit that weekend. And, I feel bad about this now, I spent the entire time in bed. Depressed. I cried a lot. I wallowed in my misery.
And then, the next weekend rolled around. It was a three day weekend, and I decided to go crazy. Forget work. Forget drama. Forget the dream job that slipped through my fingers. Just pour me some wine, turn up the music, and let’s party!
(And by party, I mean just me and my hubby at home playing video games, drinking wine, and me dancing around the apartment like a fool to my favorite Panic! At The Disco songs- cuz we’re cool like that.)
The weekend after that, we had friends over. We played games and had more wine. It was a blast! It felt good to disconnect from work, since it was still causing me so much grief.
Another week went by, and then came Father’s Day. We went to visit my parents and meet up with one of my friends from high school who was visiting the area.
That was when I started to think, “hmm… something isn’t right.” I told my husband, who insisted on taking a pregnancy test right then and there, even though I wanted to wait a couple more days.
And so, on June 17th–Father’s Day 2018–we found out that our lives were about to change completely. I don’t know what I felt in the moment. It’s not that I don’t remember. It’s that I can’t explain it. I was freaking out. But, I was happy, too. I was scared. But, I felt ready, at the same time.
That little plus sign set into motion a whole chain of events that has lead me to where I am today. I love my job now. Being that I wasn’t going to be able to leave (I needed the insurance), I decided it was time to figure out how to make it work. And, I did. I also decided to continue moving toward a path that I had been considering for quite some time.
I applied. And, I got in! This means that in Fall, I’ll be going back to school. It’s been a dream of mine for a long time. I’m so excited! I know it’ll be hard with Norah. But, I also know it’s time for me to start working towards my career. My dream has always been to get my PhD and become a professor. If I’m going to do that, I need to do it now! I owe it to my baby girl.
It’s crazy to think back on all of it. It really is true what they say: “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” If I hadn’t hated my job, I wouldn’t have applied to another. If I hadn’t been turned down by that one, I wouldn’t have celebrated Memorial Day weekend with one too many glasses of wine. And if none of that had happened, I wouldn’t have the one thing that brings me more joy than anything else ever has–
my baby girl.
In just one year, my life has changed so much. And, I’m so eternally grateful for each and every little thing that contributed to that change.
Last May, I was miserable. And now, we have Norah.